peelee

05:46 pm: Im going to go eat mexican tonight.


yesterday was thanmksgiving.

It was rad.

Also.


I have firmly concluded that i dont care about anyone..

i really dont.

sorry if anyone has seen a dramatic change, for the worse, in personality.

Its just a result of this recent realization.

05:39 am: This is an update
i have the flu.

it sucks.

i need to die.

im and old fart.

10:40 am: califonia love.
Last night was so hott. And its not even summer anymore.

08:42 pm: an attempt
So Gen and i went driving.
and got caught horizontily between two cars parked on either side of a residential street.
then when another car was trying to get through, we couldnt move. there was an inch between us and both cars.
we ended up rear ending it several times.
some crazy section-eight kids were taking down our license number on a fatty pad of paper.
and a a middle aged man experiencing a mid life crisis gave us the glare of a lifetime.
i was laughing SO hard when i realized all of a suden that I wasnt watching this on TV. i was acctually living it.
At this point i Remarked " what the fuck " repetedly and made boisterous hand gestures to prove to everyone standing around us that we were in distress.
ARLOL ( a REAL laugh out loud )
after that the car started bluesmoking everywhere.
then i ran in to get oreos.
and then we ran into riely and his friends ( which im really happy we did )
?
hahah
but thats not it.
it goes on.


PS. i also went to ROSSSS and fell inlove.

05:59 am: If Citizen Cope knew that i was sitting right out side the Cd p layer, listening in with such intent, they would probably feel wierd and stop playing.

im getting really sick.

My body aches from Pe.

and my head aches from last minute cram reading.

and myheart aches... for some reason, too.

but i have yet to figure out exactly why.

im gonna go catch somthing. bye.

08:15 pm: fuck what i said., it dont mean shit now.
I hate bitches.

they piss me off like there is no tomarrow.

i'm happy im not the kind of person that spends every doller i get on hollister shit and AE jizzzz..

buti love school.
im happy that im back.



aand . im having a slightly major case of attatchemnt disorder.
so call me up miss. if ya know what i mean.

09:29 am: wtf
im tired.
fuck.

02:12 pm: Just like a ciggarette , i have 1,3423 ingredients.

" silence, like cancer, grows.




Im in montana


the house is insane

no one can even fathom.


callie.
Gen and i are.... going to lay by the pool some more.


ps i have an usler.

11:19 pm: - Capitol Hill Bloc party.
-Presidents of the USA.
-Gens sweet sweet sweet SWEET 16.
- now were watching " never breen kissed'
- its all good.

01:06 pm: The woman that i love, is 40 ft tall.
I have a bed now.
Im so excited.
Yea, it might just be my old one that we retrieved from the downstairs garage.
yea it might be missing some pieces , and it might smell like moth balls.
But its my bed.
and im in love with it.


Over.


PS> i saw my brothers finger bone.

A little rebelious wire from the swing split it open.

I want a stork to come swoop me up in a hammock of linnen and drop me off in the stall of a lonly hippo at the zoo.

03:04 pm: Are we still going to montana??









I sure hope as fck we do.


Its the one event that will happen to me this summer.





My forgign exchange student's name is Ai.



Pornounced- I

05:41 pm: HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i LOVE YOU ALOT AND ALOT AND ALOT.

09:37 pm: I just watched smoke waltz into my room and the sunset out of the corner of my eye.

03:00 pm: Bethany
( BETHANY< ITS OUR ROMEO AND JULIET PROJECT )

07:49 pm: When i get all steamed up then i shout, tip me over and pour me out.
I layed in the sun for the length of the whole Killers cd.( thats like, twelve hours..or maybe 45 minutes.)

I burnt my lips.
I'm four shades Shy of Negro. ...well. maybe eight.
I feel like im on a race with Gen.

Gen, im not sure if i can go to the graduation party.
My mom is being anal all of a suden.

Im not sure if she will let me get a job in seattle either.

BUt i am Sure that Jermey and I are going Fishing at five in the fucking morning to confirm the start of summer.
Well, he doesnt know that were doing this. but I do.
ANd were going to get coffee in the morning.
And catch so many fish that it wont even be funny.
we'll roll up our pants. and chew on grass.
Im going to fish and fish and fish like there is no tomarrow.
This summeris going to be the fishing summer.

Does anyone want to fish with me?

06:49 pm:
I feel like  I have the world totally figured out

"The reason why women crave chocolate:
Chocolate is estimated to contain up to 300 different chemicals, many of which may be mood-altering. One of the chemicals is phenylethylamine (PEA), a natural substance that allegedly stimulates the same reaction in the body as the feeling of falling in love. Some theories claim that chocolate stimulates the production of endorphins, which give a sense of pleasure or pain"

....why didn't i know this before?

11:42 am: A f
I really have some popcicles in my freezer.
If anyone wants to come share them with me.
because, i dont want to be alone any more.

12:53 am: its just the human condition.
My existence has deteriorated to the point where all that remains is a residue of rust and limestone dust.
Anxiety has eroded my soul and Restricted my being. ITS RUINING M E.
I wake up everynight in a panic attack.
I never know the origin of the anxiety or what triggered it.
Im going into the docter to get drugs.
I hope he doesnt tell me to put the Lime in the coconut and shake it all up. Ive tried it. Doesnt work.


My Little consience is nauseated with all the emotional turbulence.
I held its Hair back while i handed it a barf bag.

Last night, Anna, Katie, Renee and I all went to 'La Pechet' up on Capitol hill.
We smoked a whole pack of American Spirits and thoroughly disscussed everything possible.

existentialism.
Aladin.
Marco polo.
God.
The great gatsby.
Mom.
summer.
Buddah.
and Metabolism.

After our minds were slightly Impaired and under the regiem of alcohol we deffinatly danced. Where there was no dancing.

The quote of the night was :

"people are in awe of us because our life has fuck to it"
- Renee.



Next day Renee and I Biked the Bertgillman Trail all the way from Sandpoint to Freemont.
When i got off my bike my legs were like boneless flanks of rubber.
I couldnt walk at all.
I felt my brain connect to every cell in my body.
Every atom was moving extra fast.
There was a crazy dance party in every neucleus.
I Felt the vitality surge through my bloodstream.
I must say i was quite alive.




Umm. somthing happend along time ago that i never wrote about.
No one knew about it.


Gen and i Were sleeping on her bed.
And we both hear the Icecream man and jump up and dash out of the house barefoot.
and searched the streets for twenty minutes wondering if the ding-a-ling we were hearing was just a hullucination.

It was really ....good.





......
HOPE> IM sorry i didnt call you to go over to Seattle with me the other day,
I woke up twenty minutes before the ferry left and in the rush i completly forgot to call you. ( and i didnt have the number of where you were staying )


GEN> Right now i Hope youre wrapped in a million yards of slimy seaweed. ( well.. acctually not, because its two in the morning )
((But when you get back im deffinatly calling you a seaweed buritto))

EMILY> WEre over due for a hang out...theres gonna be a HUGE ASS FEE. we just need some soda and Gum and a sun.

BETHANY> im wearing your pants right now. They make me so happy. More then any other article of clothing on the face of this earth. I want to see you .


GEN> speaking of happy inducing clothing.... Can i have the green zip-up? Ill give you my Yellow trench coat.


MATT> Ummm. I mis syou.

GODZILLA> get the fuck out of my house.




Over. and > OUT>

09:21 pm: I'm scared to go to my room.
I hate being alone with myself.
Because i start to think.
And when that happens...trouble comes to my brain.

10:26 am: And we all fall down.
This morning when i blew my nose, blue came out.
(that was the problem)
Hmm. i wonderwhy.

Last night I looked like a chipmunk because i had half a pack of Trident in my mouth.
I think i have arthritise of the Jaw now.

Strange thing- I never felt such an immense sense of appriciation for music as i did last night. Every single song was as good as salt water taffy. So good so good it hurt.

Matt and I Compared swollen lymph nodes, wore party hats,Took famous pictures,all while sitting in a room full....well...half full of balloons.

Thats enough.